Moonlight Escape, Part 1
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
Previous WeWriWa Snippet "Willing to Slay"
(1) Laura instinctively knew that forward momentum was safer than hiding. (2) Casting a downward glance into the shadowy ravine, she spotted her predator's lanky body crumpled headfirst into the base of a sprawling juniper tree. (3) Laura winced as she noticed a glistening black streak spreading through his blue jeans where she had cut him deeply.
(4) Her mind was still numb with shock, for as many times as she had attempted to escape this was the first time she had cleared the barbed wire fence and made it into the dusky woods encircling the property. (5) It wasn't that she was especially brave or courageous – she was just a woman who loved peace and beauty, truth and justice – and it was high time to get her life back, she told herself.
(6) No one would ever suspect the peaceful country mansion in the northern woods was home to a malignant predator who conducted sadistic psychological experiments on young female captives, so it was up to her to set herself free and get help for the other prisoners.
(7) As the first few drops of icy October rain stung her cheeks, Laura launched herself up from the ground and began to run. (8) There was no time to lose if she was going to make it down the 2-mile winding private road before sunset and she knew it wouldn't be long before both her absence and the director's was noticed.
To be continued: Part 2 of Moonlight Escape
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This is a true story from my blog that I'm slowly rewriting into fiction. Laura, whose name means "Victorious One," is dreaming in this segment, and discovering that her dream life closely parallels and links to her conscious life, supplying her with uncanny wisdom that fuels her journey to freedom. Thank you for any wisdom or guidance you may have – I appreciate you reading! I look forward to reading your snippet!
The 8-Sentence Weekend Writing Warriors Blog-Hop Challenge: Each week, participants sign up HERE at WeWriWa, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between 12:00 noon Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other, read, comment, critique, encourage–all those great things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Spooky for sure, but also hopeful. I can't imagine going through any of this and coming out in one piece!
Laura seems to be such an awesome woman. I hope everything will be fine with her escape, and I want to know what happened in his house.
Thanks so much, Linda… it’s kind of a heavy story, but I like Laura’s attitude… thanks so much reading and sharing!
You got me hooked, this is absolutely thrilling. I want more. Not for the Thrill but to enjoy your writing and true Story Telling. Wonderful.
I'll be back shortly Susan, don't give up on me.
Gertraud
I’m cheering you on, Gertraud, as you run for your life. My knees couldn’t take the stress right now, so that makes me extra excited for your progress! You’re running more than one kind of race, and I’m thrilled for you in so many ways, Gertraud! Thanks for taking time to read and to share your thoughts here…. hugs to you!!!
So many women are caught in this in various ways and not courageous enough to escape. I am cheering for Laura and admiring her courage.
Thanks so much, Carol, for cheering Laura on…. she’s going to need it! 🙂
Brilliant in your ability to pull us into the moment, painting the picture of what went on long before your story started, just with your choice of words. (It's obvious that every word was chosen with care.) Interesting that you didn't even use strong verbs, they may actually have weakened the adjectives that set the tone so well …
Sharon, you have taught me so much, not just along the lines of financial freedom, but in the art of stringing words together. I have so much to learn, and I look forward to it with pleasure! Thanks so much for offering not only encouragement but also helpful nudges to keep me on track!
Love your excerpt! How smart to number your lines, love it!!!
Thanks for the encouraging words, Sara 🙂
Wow. Amazing story. That it is based in truth gives it so much more immediacy. Can't wait to read more!
Thank you so much, Ann 🙂
This is chilling. Great job.
Your words mean much to me – thanks, Elaine!
This scene had me on the edge of my seat! Great hook at the end – left the reader guessing if she'll get away!
Thank you, Sam, I’m so very new to this and your comment is encouraging – thanks!
Interesting story, Susan, and great descriptions! I saw her as she "launched herself up and began to run." Good show!
Thanks so much, Nan!
I'm hoping she escapes to get help. Really intersting piece.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Yetunde! Have a great week <3
Wow, this is gripping, Susan! I'll watch this with interest since I'm wrestling with a complex layer of dreams and reality in my current WIP, too. Great 8! 🙂
Thanks, Teresa… I’m greatly interested in your story, too. I’d love to hear what inspired you to write using dreams. Your story line is complex and so very intriguing. I appreciate you stopping by and giving feedback – THANKS!
Damn, she's only dreaming. That is some scary stuff!
Yes, she’s dreaming… and her dreams parallel her waking world and will one day help her to free herself in both worlds. Thanks Millie 🙂
Tense and scary– please bolt now!! Great 8!
Thanks so much for sharing, Karen!
Definitely spooky … very tense. Hopefully things will go smoothly as she runs…but somehow I doubt it. Nicely done. 🙂
You guessed right, Susan, she won’t be leaving soon… thanks so much for reading and offering feedback. 🙂
Intense and spooky. I'm wanting her to RUN! Excellent excerpt.
Thanks so much, Veronica, for taking the time to read and share your feedback – you are so much appreciated!
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