He believed he was the 'black sheep' of his family…
By: Susan McKenzie
Mark was a giant of a man, but under his powerful exterior hid a man who just wanted to know love.
One of the first questions in our Life Story Interview Prompts is, "What is your earliest memory?" You know you're in for a ride when your friend replies, "My dad came into my bedroom and yanked me out of my crib. Opening the window of my second floor bedroom, he grabbed me by my ankles and shook me upside down, hanging me out the window."
And that was just the beginning of his story…
Mark owned his own successful business, but somewhere down the line Mark had picked up the idea that he was the black sheep of the family, and from his youngest years he seemed bent on living up to that description.
Pretty soon Mark, a trusted spiritual leader in his church, was confessing addictions to alcohol, pornography, prostitutes, and much more.
He was terrified that people might discover who he truly was behind closed doors, yet he longed to be known and accepted for who he was.
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Listening is an Act of Love!
In listening to a person's life story, it's critical to remain peaceful and non-judgmental, no matter what a person tells you. When a person senses they are safe, it's like the floodgates open and story upon story splashes out.
And that's how trust is established, one story at a time.
Mark began to see himself differently the more stories he shared, and this helped him to see his family and friends differently. It didn't happen overnight, but being able to share his story, even a "black sheep" story, helped one family to rewrite their future.
Love can be tested but it can never fail unless we give up.
I know from experience that our churches, schools, and communities are filled with people who desperately need to share their story, who just need safe places to simply 'be real'.
The world is full of hurting people and there are not enough institutions and doctors to care for them all… at least not at prices everyone can afford. I am not a doctor and I don't give medical or psychological advice but you would be amazed at the power of simply listening to someone's story!
My goal is to help people record their stories so that their families and friends as well as they, themselves, can benefit from the wealth of their life experiences (the humorous, the fun, the laughter, the tears, the regrets… the whole gambit of life!) …. but also, because so many of us need to rewrite our future, and telling our story is one way to let go of the pain.
How about you? Have you ever listened to someone's life story from beginning to end? Have you shared your story yet? I'd love to hear from you… meet me in the comment box below. I respond to every person who comments 🙂
Susan McKenzie knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and so much more. In a series of letters spanning more than two decades, God gave Susan "Love from Papa,' through her personal daily journals to help her in exiting organized religion where she had served in duties ranging from pastor, inner healing and deliverance minister, and Midwest regional coordinator for a large international ministry. In the past decade Susan has been applying the truths she learned and is now publishing her journals for the first time.
If you've ever felt you lost your soul in the midst of a "successful" Christian lifestyle, "Love from Papa" is for you! It's a practical guide via stories, poems, dreams and visions all in the context of Susan's real life story and the Bible. You can register to receive the newsletter, "Love from Papa" by entering your name and email below.
Copyright 2012, Susan McKenzie, http://TeamFamilyOnline.com. Permission is granted to copy, forward, or distribute this article for non-commercial use only, as long as this copyright byline and bio, in totality, is maintained in all duplications, copies, and link references. For reprint permission for any commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan McKenzie.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I like the way you describe the fact that lsitening to somebody is a gift, because it really is. I have listened to a few people's story and of course to bits and peaces from people's life stories. People all have their story and they need to be told to encourage others. When we listen to what people have gone through and realzie that they overcame a lot of obstacles, we know that we can do it too!
I agree, Olga… this weekend we’ve been enjoying a fabulous family reunion, and sharing the stories – each of us with our own perspectives – has been so very fun! No matter how many years have passed between get-togethers our stories bond us like glue. So precious!