Give What You Have
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
I offer you another chapter from my memoir, "On the Way Home". This chapter takes place in 2011, a time when my husband abandoned me in the desert and ran off with another woman. I was trying to restart my life in an unfamiliar city.
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I could have sworn it was Jesus' voice on the other end of the line, speaking directly into my spirit. I don't remember all that he said, but it felt like fireworks zapping the demons of doubts, worries, self-hatred, fear, and poverty-thinking.
The one thing that plagues me night and day is finances. I haven't been a single woman in over 30-years, and after giving my all to my family I am suddenly left with nothing, starting over from scratch, with a disabled body.
God, through the phone caller, nailed my identity issues, in such a way as to expose the impostor me — the one who tries to please everyone and who conforms and compromises to survive in this material world. It felt like he was inviting the real me, the girl designed by my Creator and made in my Father's image, to come forward and take her rightful place.
He told me my only job is to BE HAPPY, no matter what circumstances arise. He said, "If you have only one loaf of bread, to share it." You move in the opposite direction. If you're afraid of loss, you give away whatever you have.
He told me not to worry about all that I lost, all that I don't presently have, and all that the world tells me I must save up for retirement. In God's economy, there is fresh manna every day for those who live His way.
There is always more than enough.
I'm sitting here at my computer this morning having had the soundest sleep in months. My soul is in deep peace, as I meditate on living a kingdom lifestyle. What would it really be like to walk on earth like Jesus did, in full confidence that you have provision, protection, and providence on your side?
He lived with no cares for this world. I think He knew those of us who live in such a way don't live very long, anyway. We end up being persecuted, tortured, and even killed. He did, and He told us it would be the same for us.
I know what it's like to be threatened, psychologically tortured, shunned, exiled, and forgotten.
I can't afford to worry about my present instability. I'm a water-walker. I'm a storm-calmer. I'm a mountain-mover. Maybe if I say what I truly am it will manifest a little quicker?
Some of us are beginning to wake up. We're beginning to live a Kingdom lifestyle, here on earth. Isn't that what real prayer is? We walk and talk with God and do what our Father is doing, like Jesus modeled and taught?
It's a few years later now, and I met this monastic speaker, the author of "God's Economy," Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, via the Internet, and he gives us a peek into what it looks like to live the Gospel of Matthew in the 21st century.
In the years since the phone caller spoke Truth into my spirit, sending a whole fireworks display of confrontation with my demons, I've been challenging the "prosperity gospel" in my own mind and simplifying, downsizing, and learning to live with self-imposed limits so as to create more balance.
What would it look like if we lived in God's economy? I encourage you to give Jonathan a listen and maybe get his book, "God's Economy".
Have you ever given up everything you owned?
What's your money story?
My Full Story What I Believe Contact Me
With all my love,
Sue
Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.
Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.
Copyright © 2010 to 2015 Team Family Online, All rights reserved. For reprint permission or for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Indeed, there is frsh manna everyday if we live by the Lord's ways. If only more of us saw that!
Love the quote "There is always more than enough"
Taking the time to build a sure foundation – out of rock and not sand – based on the words of Jesus, to me, means everything right now.
My recovery may be slowed, due to intensely studying the Scriptures – not in the way the church has taught – but by sitting at the feet of Jesus and simply marveling at the Way he guides us to Life stimply by walking in Truth!
How did I miss this abundant life all my previous 50+ years? There is such value to suffering. Jesus learned obedience through what he suffered. I think of him on the cross, bleeding and dying… and yet no hatred or bitterness was found in his heart, only forgiveness.
Abundant life is not about happiness in the world's way of thinking… but it means we get to live in joy, peace, and true love. There's something about living outside of this world's highly controlled system…. about living naked and unashamed. I want more!