Play, Pray, and Plan
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
From the series, "Diary of a Battered Preacher's Wife"
A journal entry from 4 years ago…
July 29, 2011
I'm learning to pray, play, and plan!
I reached out to local women friends… I went hiking in the desert with one of them. It was so fun… and fun is something I've neglected! We spent the whole day together, and that was just after a morning when I felt like I could go no further – couldn't quit crying! A whole week of nothing but tears… and then breakthrough!
Today, armed with newspaper help wanted ads, I began putting out applications… got to the 2nd place and the owner happened to be there… and he asked me for an instant interview and then hired me on the spot and asked if I could start training right then! So I have a job now. There is a lot to learn, so I'm busy.
Do Plan
Serving customers makes me happy… it lifts me up and takes the focus off the grief. It was a big step… after so much rejection it was like I was afraid of more… but I had nothing to lose.
What I've discovered: When it feels the darkest and the pain unbearable.. and it seems impossible that your life is so broken it could never be put back together, that's the time when breakthrough is just around the corner… and the time to do the opposite of what comes natural.
Go play
Sometimes you have to play to relieve the stress, plan and do what you have to, to survive, and pray – so you can get high above the mountain of pain, grief, and anxiety and SEE as God sees. Fly with divine guidance. See a whole different perspective of those mountains.
A friend invited me to fly, and these are the photos I took…
I took this picture when a the hotel owner / pastor invited me to fly in his plane. Having grown up the daughter of a pilot and having earned my student pilot's license a long time ago, it was a return to my roots in zooming over the mountains in Thermopolis, Wyoming.
I am growing into the truth about what I have to offer and I am seeing that I am someone from whom others want to hear what I have to say.
For so long, I held back my voice, my ideas, opinions, I would not give input on much of anything. I have felt so intimidated that I was like a caged mouse with a feral/wild cat sitting right outside the door waiting to eat me. It was like being smothered, too afraid to try to get away or even make a sound to get help.
I believe that as we take, even baby steps forward, into a lifestyle of no more abuse and with God's provision, taking steps to concentrate on our well being that God will order our steps aright and eventually He will get us where He wants us.
What I'm discovering as I pray, plan, and play with ordinary, normal people by my side:
It may seem hard to care for a friend who is suffering massive trauma. Just invite her into your 'normal' routine. You don't have to be a professional counselor to love someone who is hurting in such a degree that you feel inadequate in every way. Just be yourself. Your 'normal' will help to stabilize her. Your 'normal' will support in ways you can't begin to imagine! Prayer does wonders, too 🙂
Pray
Magnificent Father, I know you have your eyes on the brave heart reading along with me right now, and I thank you for leading and guiding her into this new step of faith that she is applying in her life. I bless her with the Freedom to have fun and play and the discipline to tackle a new job or role in life with grace and favor.
I ask that you provide her with supernatural strength and ability along with the mind of Christ and the wisdom of you Father, as she wholeheartedly leans and depends on you to do so…I ask for GREAT GRACE and MUCH FAVOR as she pursues these new ventures and applies your love to the people she will be surrounded by.
May your protection cover her every second of every day and deliver her from all evil and lead her not into any temptations. I pray that as she goes about her days you will fill her with your PEACE/SHALOM…with nothing missing and nothing broken in her spirit, soul, and body.
Show yourself BIG on her behalf with everyone she comes in contact with and let them be drawn to the LIGHT that is within her. I call upon your unfailing LOVE today on her behalf that she has an experiential happening in her life to see, feel, taste, smell, hear your presence and to know, without a doubt that you are with her and helping her with everything she needs.
Daddy you really do take care of your girls…Thank you! Amen
Background: I was once called "the most abused wife" my counselors had ever met. I had been married to a sociopath, twice.. The first marriage lasted 20 years; the second, nearly 10 years. Both of of my abusers are ministers. Friends have asked me to share the story of how God helped a preacher's wife escape to freedom. The escape route is recorded within 83 diary entries, and this is number 27.
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With all my love,
Sue
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