Rebuilding Trust

Do you withdraw love from people because they can't be trusted? Do you dare risk giving your heart to someone again? When you've been abused by a sociopath, especially a religious one, it's hard not to blame God, or to feel that even God has abandoned and betrayed you.

 

You're in what some have called a "dark night of the soul" when even God seems against you. It's a good place, even though it feels uncomfortable, and even hostile.

 

You are searching for answers, for solutions, for reasons, and most of all, for love. That's what you do when your foundation crumbles beneath you. It's okay to feel like you've lost your faith. You're not lost and you're never alone.

 

Even when I lost my faith, it seemed, many years ago…. God never let go of me. When I was unfaithful he was faithful still. God knows your heart and I sense a bit of your heart, too.

 

If I can encourage you at all, it would be to give yourself more time to grieve. Don't worry about trusting people or not trusting them right now. Just know that it's okay to face this darkness. It's okay to be honest and blame God. He can handle that!

 

It's okay not to trust people, even though you've forgiven them. It's good not to forget what was done to you, for otherwise, you might allow it to happen again. 

 

I would like to suggest reading Brennan Manning's books – any of them (he was a prolific writer). Perhaps "Ruthless Trust". He's a good companion to walk with during the Dark Night.

 

My own little story of walking through the darkness, or what I call the wilderness, is at http://teamfamilyonline.com/whisper-doxology-darkness/

 

Truly, the best time of your life is right now and just up ahead. Many of us discover, in the dark night of the soul, the true beauty of our lives. Just as the stunning solar system is invisible to us in the daylight, the most briliant aspects of God's nature can only be viewed in this dark night of the soul.

 

You're learning more right now, in this experience, than in all your college classes…. believe me, these lessons will carry you through the rest of your life… because sociopaths are nearly everywhere, especially in church. But Love is everywhere and there are more people who are choosing love than not… and they are waking up, just as you are, dear heart… and one day the Glory of God will cover the earth and this present darkness will be gone. That's God's promise to us.

 

Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.  

 

Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.