At the Sound of His Voice…
Co-Grandparenting with An Abuser
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
"Is Grandma there?" said an all-too-familiar male voice – one that I have chosen never to hear again. From all the way across my living room I recognize the cheerful banter that normally wins hearts, in particular my own children. He is on the phone with my granddaughter. I was once wooed by that articulate and amiable tongue, three decades ago.
The nearer I came to thinking for myself, to understanding that marriage thrives in freedom for both partners, not just the man, the more threats to my life I received.
"I'm going to slice off your breasts with piano wire," he once warned me. "And then I'm going to watch your body drop into the rock quarry." Promises.
Well, he wasn't one for keeping promises, but his incredibly detailed threats engraved trails of terror in my brain. The neurological damage was to last for the next decade and a half.
I'd rather have had broken bones than a broken heart. But that was part of "the Game" as he called it. "No one will ever know," he reminded me, not even our kids. It was all carefully planned, and I was the shock absorber. I didn't divulge the secrets until it was too late. A naive, but costly mistake.
He prefers to keep playing the Game, I see. Using my children and grandchildren as weapons, twisting the knife into the core of my being. I am a mother, in the deepest place of my heart. It's all I ever wanted to be and do.
These days, I play by my own rules. I dance in freedom. I sing my victory. I have recorded God's promises to me and I play them back, over and over.
Your Kingdom come, Your will be done… reverberates in my mind. Deliver my family from evil. Help us to be overcomers. Lead us away from temptation, far away from a victim mentality. Give us daily resoures, enough to share with others. Your Name is holy. Every knee bows at the sound of your Name.
My enemies flee seeing You in me. I am now a source of holy terror because Your Light and Love SHINE through me. You have turned the tables and scouraged the terrorists hidden in darkness and they are stuck in their own traps.
Promises. There is One who has given me a future and a hope. He's given me dreams, visions, and promises. His Word always comes to pass. His Love never fails. He is the Way, the Life, and the Truth.
I have applied His Truth. It's engraved on my Sword. I wield this Sword now and declare:
Because she loves me says, the Lord….
I will hide her in the day of trouble no matter what it may look to her.
I will deliver her children and write My name upon their hearts.
I will fight her enemies and she will see with her own eyes their demise.
I will bless her with an answer to her prayers for that financial need and for that one she is praying to be delivered from drugs and I will heal sickness.
I will give her the gift of faith as she has asked Me for.
I will love her with an everlasting love and free her from all of her doubts about this and make it REAL to her.
I will bind up those wounds you see no way of ever being closed….I will mend your heart, My love.
Your voice, my King, rules out the violence planned against me. Your Word delivers my children, for I believe Your promises.
Here I am, your handmaiden, looking to You. I am confident in Your plan to save my family, to deliver us from all harm. Even if my life were to be taken, nothing evil has planned for me or my family can prevail. Your Love is my banner, and under Your feathers I take refuge.
This is the voice of the King's Bride.
My dear reader, will you believe with me, too? Together, we can dip our pens in blood and write the pain away. We can create abuse-free zones in our own lives, extending into our communities. One by one, as each one of us stretched out of bondage and into liberty. This is our inheritance. Let's rise up!
With all my love,
Sue
Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate her way out of hell to a rich and satisfying life. In her lifetime, Susan has served in duties ranging from home school mom – to pastor – to full-time deliverance minister – and to Midwest regional prayer coordinator for a large international ministry. These days you can usually find Susan soaking in her favorite hot springs pool, reading a book (or several), blogging, baking bread, or hanging out with her family and friends. You can pre-order a free copy of Susan's upcoming book, "On the Way Home" by registering here.
Copyright 2014, Susan Schiller, http://TeamFamilyOnline.com. For reprint permission for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Standing with you in the battle, dear one.
I read those words from Songs just this morning as the Lord was ministering His love and grace. What a beautiful picture of true love.
Remember that we operate from a place of victory because Christ has already won the victory. Hold that close as you stand on the promises and see the Glory of the Lord on your behalf!
Amen, AMEN! We operate from a place of victory – amen.
He anoints our head with oil, our cup overflows. He sits us at a banqueting table, right in front of our enemies. Psalm 23.
Good words, Joyce – and thank you for standing together with me!
Standing with you in the battle, dear one. Remember that we operate from a place of victory because Christ has already won the victory. Hold that close as you stand on the promises and see the Glory of the Lord on your behalf!
I will believe and pray with you! Amen to your prayer, dear friend. I'm not a grandparent. I just know how much you love yours. Standing with you. You are still a righteous mother in every way, shape and form – with every word spoken, every tear and prayer cried out, all the love you give and hope you have. Sing and dance, friend!!! The victory is near! Your children will arise and they will call you blessed. I remember part of a chorus to a children's song as I read your words. I remember it a lot when you speak of banners. I'll have to google the song now. His banner over me is love. I sang this as a child all of the time. Love you, precious Momma!
I felt like it was the “voice of the Bride” speaking, the Bride of Christ. In song of Solomon, chapter 2, it says: The Bride
3“Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, So is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, And his fruit was sweet to my taste. 4“He has brought me to his banquet hall, And his banner over me is love. 5“Sustain me with raisin cakes, Refresh me with apples, Because I am lovesick.…
It’s the voice of the bride, there, as well. She speaks of her King and Bridegroom, and gives a picture the Husband God has planned for us, the intimacy, the love, and the beauty…
Thank you, Melissa … you have His heart.