This Astonishing Light

This Astonishing Light

By: Susan Deborah Schiller

There is a genocide happening today. It's a mass murder of dreams, visions, and the destinies of people who, like I once did, feel "dead" inside. It's like they are moving through life doing all the right things, but missing out on what they are created to be and do. 

Even as Christ was born in a stable, just hours before Herod sent soldiers to kill every child under the age of two, just to prevent such a King from entering the world, so people like you and me are being hunted down by wicked people who thrive in this fear-based world.

They are afraid of our Light and so they target us for subjugation. They use smear campaigns, gaslighting, and whatever it takes to kill us from the inside out.

Most of us have been or will be crucified multiple times. Why?

You are a royal child, meant to rule this world in peace, justice, and righteousness. Your meekness qualifies you. It's your innocence they want to destroy, for it mirrors to them the truth of their own darkness.

You have a unique destiny and your dreams are meant to be fulfilled! Growing up with a narcissist, being married to a sociopath, or living with chronic abuse of any kind introduces limitations. One lie at a time, your self-esteem shrinks, your beliefs narrow, and your vision becomes blinded by the fog of illusions.

To break out of the fog, you must do what can't be done. Even if it seems illogical or counter-cultural. In fact, do the OPPOSITE of what you naturally want to do!

This is how Light pierces the darkness. There are lots of reasons we hide, shrink, withdraw, and choose the easier path. We don't always realize the logical reasons tend to lead to limitations.

Love is not logical. Love leads us to abundant living, and that is by doing the opposite of what comes by default in a  fear-based world system.

Jesus once told a particular man, "Sell everything you own and give it to the poor!" He once told the growing crowd of curious onlookers, "If you want to follow me, you must pick up your cross!" To his friends, he said, "The greatest among you is the servant of all."

Moving in the opposite direction is what it takes to stay on the straight and narrow path. It means making a living in a different way.

The greatest life skill we can learn is how to make a good living, and by that I don't mean a job.

Usually people just want to know "what you do for a living" and in the past I have said,

  • I co-managed a ranch.
  • I administrated a regional prayer network, covering 10 Midwestern states.
  • I was a conference speaker.
  • I was a full-time inner healing and deliverance minister.
  • I was a youth and children's pastor.
  • I was a heavy equipment operator.
  • I was a schoolbus driver.
  • I worked in a private boarding school for troubled youth.
  • I was a homeschooling mom of three precious, 10-talent children.
  • I taught pre-school and I have a degree in early childhood education and development.

I have flown airplanes and lived in a foreign country. I have had a full life, but in many ways, that life I once lived is dead and gone. Such is waking up to realizing you were married to the devil and it's cost you everything.

You look at what's left of the life you carefully built and like a sand castle ruined by the incoming tide, it's melting into the ground and soon not even a lump will indicate you once inhabited those walls.

You haven't begun to live until you've lost everything.

You are more than your education level. You are more than your economic status. Your real life may be hidden inside of what you do, but what you have achieved or not achieved does not define who you are. 

With every layer stripped by the tides of change, you are left naked but not ashamed. You become comfortable in your own skin. You can never go back to the way you lived before because it's like that person died. You are living your new life now, and it's like you are creating a new world. Your atmosphere is changing. Love is around every corner.

And when you meet others on the journey, they begin to tell you, "There's an astonishing Light shining from within you!" A person who has allowed every Illusion to shatter is a formidable child of God, and the world is groaning in anticipation your arrival. You can't be fooled, subjugated, or conformed to the world's ways anymore!

A new world order is taking place, and you are a world-changer, just by your commanding presence. It's your astonishing Light.

My Full Story     What I Believe    Contact Me

With all my love,


Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate to freedom and fullness.  

Today Susan helps people write their life stories, unearthing the treasures of their past and sowing them into their future, creating new family legacies.

Copyright © 2010 to 2016 Team Family Online, All rights reserved.   For reprint permission or for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Pat Balvanz March 4, 2014 at 9:19 am

Susan, what a powerful story. You are an inspiration to many people I am sure. I have a similar mission, to encourage women to renew their acquaintance with their true selves and to bloom at last in all their glory. Great to be on the journey with you!


Susan Schiller March 4, 2014 at 9:28 am

Pat, it’s wonderful to meet you, a woman with the same mission!

We definitely need to sit down and chat one day soon – thanks so much for sharing!


LINDA HONEA March 2, 2014 at 9:32 pm

Funny how words affect us, especially from those who are closest to us.  I praise God that you are "Silent No More."  And you most assuredly light up my life!

I see the horses running across your page header, and I wish I had been there the day they ran across your path.  The Apostle Paul says we are running a race, but, we are NOT racing against each other!  I  prefer to think we're running like the Mustangs, kicking up dust across the Montana plains, urging each other to run, run, run.  We're in this race together, but not in opposition.
Sue, thanks for the encouragement to go, to run, to win!


Susan Schiller March 3, 2014 at 6:02 am

Indeed…. no competition. I believe that is, in large part, due to women rising up into places of leadership. The feminine side of God is emerging… a more nurturing, cooperative balance to the world. Collaboration instead of competition, is what I’m seeing in my dreams and beginning to see in reality.

The day of seeing the horses was a magical day… they were so curious, and yet so part of the herd they could not help themselves but race. And then shortly afterward, a few of them tentatively returned to the riverback to gaze at us as we continued to paddle down the slow river. You would have enjoyed. Maybe when you make that trip to Montana, on your bucket list, we can put you in that river and see what beauty and majesty shows up that day.

Blessings and thank you for sharing, Linda!


Cyn Rogalski March 2, 2014 at 3:04 pm

Yet again, Susan, you have touched the very place in my soul that is empty. The friendship I lost back in October 2013 has knocked me off kilter, with all those feelings of being class clown & annoying those around me have resurfaced.
I remain paralyzed now, not doing art projects, writing…not even sending out notes.
Yet I trust God has a reason for this season. I can only look to Him each day.
Thank you for speaking to my heart today.


Susan Schiller March 2, 2014 at 7:28 pm

Oh dear Cyn… you encourage and pray for so many of us each day! I’ve noticed your set apart-ness but I didn’t want to pry. Oh, so many of us know this pain well – this paralying, toxic numbness that stops our art… and really, stops our heart.

There is that season where we learn ruthless trust, in those times of paralyzation. We need each other even more, during those seasons…. I know I needed my friends to help carry me…. like the paralyzed man whose friends dropped him down through the roof. Whatever I can do, I am here… because you matter. Your story matters. Your art matters. Your books-in-the-making matter!


Candace Poirier March 2, 2014 at 2:52 pm

Thank you for sharing from the depths of your heart! I too was so scared to follow my Truth of my unique expression in this world, never feeling as though I was good enough to do so. Once I lost everything, I was given the opportunity to fly, dance, hike, teach and share. I really resonate with your post. Look forward to more!



Susan Schiller March 2, 2014 at 7:31 pm

Hi Candace,

I’m so glad we’ve met, and I’m excited to see the name of our website “” – co-creating our word and taking responsibility to creating our world, not being victimized, but learning to create…. I know that’s a run-on sentence, but I’m thrilled to hear what you’re doing! Yes, I do believe we’ve got a lot in common!


Miste Anders-Clemons March 2, 2014 at 1:56 pm

Wow, oh wow. How great to get people thinking about our dreams. I loved how you took us through your life to Demonstrate beginnings and re-inventions. I am I feel in mid life and re-inventing myself. I am trying to kick off my business of Its a Misteism. I have had this idea for about 20 years and so eventually I would like to work myself out of my job into this transition of my business.


Susan Schiller March 2, 2014 at 2:13 pm

It’s exciting to meet a fellow traveler on this adventure, Miste! Twenty-years, you’ve had this dream – wow! Very exciting, and I’m looking forward to seeing what you do and learn more about you! Thanks so much for sharing here 🙂


Joyce Lagana March 2, 2014 at 1:41 pm

You are so eloquent, and once again we are on the same wavelength!  This baby is stepping out!  You are so precious and I am so grateful to have found you!  Always remember:  man judges success by the number of people we lead and the $$$$$ in our bank accounts, but GOD judges by the number of lives we have touched with His love.  In His book, you are a resounding success!

Much love,



Susan Schiller March 2, 2014 at 1:43 pm

You’re an amazing cheerleader, Joyce – thank you from the depths of my heart 🙂


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