Have I Finally Graduated?
From the series, "Choosing Love Today"
By: Susan McKenzie aka Tender Lily
Man measures achievement in terms of degrees, certificates, doctorates, and promotions. God measures achievement in the hidden areas, behind the scenes where no one is watching. We each have a race to win. We must ask ourselves, “How am I running today?”
Our earth journey is more like a classroom, a school of life. It's our preparation for Kingdom life.
One of the first lessons we must learn, is that when we ask for great things to be given to us, that God makes certain that we are first prepared to receive those great things.
The very same trials that provoke our stress and frustration are the very things that God uses to make us holy, pure, and godly.
Having been in ministry over the course of two decades, I have often found that we cherish the offices and positions in the church that give us the most visibility and recognition. It’s so easy to feel needed and valuable when our services are recognized and publicly honored.
But what does our ministry look like from God’s perspective?
Perhaps, it might look like this dream…
I dreamed I was at a Ladies Prayer Fellowship and I felt very privileged to be among the core leadership. There were so many women in attendance that an overflow room had to be opened. It was so fun to be there. Everyone saw me as successful and wanted me to talk with them, answering questions.
As I was preparing to speak at the podium, I noticed an elderly woman sitting all by herself, in the overflow room.
I went over to greet her, and was taken by surprise to find that it was my neighbor, an elderly woman. She told me that she wished I would have come to her house to visit her that day and that she wasn’t feeling well. Her legs and arms were feeling numb and she hoped I would give her a ride home.
I tried helping her to stand, but she had lost her sense of balance. I had to put down my purse and all my “stuff” that I had brought along for ministry spilled to the floor. Empty handed, I was able to pick up this woman and carry her out to the car.
The woman cried softly in my ear. She felt humbled at having to be carried. I stumbled several times, as I carried this woman downstairs and outdoors. It was hard labor, but joyful.
With her head so near mine, I began singing in her ear – a song of praise. That calmed her down. Then prophecy erupted and I began speaking words of love to her directly from the Father’s heart. He was saying that in His eyes she was not an elderly, broken woman – that she was His precious child.
The woman really broke down in tears at that point. I told her that the Father wanted to bring His daughter home, and that all she needed to do was to accept His offer of unconditional love and forgiveness. She did, with tears of joy.
I missed the opportunity to minister in the women’s meeting, but one elderly woman met her loving Papa God that day.
What would have happened if I continued with business-as-usual?
A few days later I was to find out. In the midst of extremely busy days of ministry, our elderly neighbor, Mickey, entered a nursing home, after breaking a hip. Mickey is one of those elderly women who cannot throw away anything. In her small house was saved every single newspaper for the past 40-or so years, plus cans, scraps of cloth and yarn – you name it – it was saved in her tiny house.
Narrow walkways between the piles of rubbish were the only way Mickey could navigate from her kitchen to the bedroom. Her personal cleanliness was a bit outstanding, as well. The smell was the first thing you noticed in visiting Mickey.
I knew it was going to be very hard on Mickey to be away from her house, so I went to visit her in the nursing home. She was normally a very tough woman, even gruff. But not that day.
As I sat next to her on the bed, she seemed extra fragile. She was nervous, she said. So I began to speak very quietly to her about her Father in heaven, and how happy He was with her. I yielded to God my voice and felt this amazing joy that His daughter was going to join him soon. Somehow my words brought her peace.
Mickey already knew it was time. That's why she was so nervous. Within a short amount of time, she made her peace with God, accepting His unconditional love for the first time.
Sitting next to Mickey, I felt how she felt, too. She didn't feel at home in the nursing home. Her spirit was ready for her real home. A few days later she crossed over, and I know she was welcomed with open arms!
In the past few years I'm afraid I've failed more tests than I've passed. It breaks my heart to realize how many people I have missed in my hurried business-as-usual life. So I've consciously slowed down, way down. Each day, I say to myself, "Abba, I belong to You. I'm choosing Love today."
It's okay to fail the tests. It means you're in school and you haven't dropped out!
There are a lot of Christian leaders who grew weary and dropped out of school. Taking the path of least resistance, they continue to minister. Signs, wonders, and miracles still follow them. They are admired. But the mark of the Cross is not seen in their lives. Choosing love is to lay down your life, as Christ did on the Cross.
It's being broken, wounded, betrayed, rejected, abandoned. It's being a living sacrifice every single day, and that is where my heart wants to be. I want to be groomed for Love.
Choosing love today,
Susan
Susan McKenzie knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and so much more. In a series of letters spanning more than two decades, God gave Susan "Love from Papa,' through her personal daily journals to help her in exiting organized religion where she had served in duties ranging from pastor, inner healing and deliverance minister, and Midwest regional coordinator for a large international ministry. In the past decade Susan has been applying the truths she learned and is now publishing her journals for the first time.
If you've ever felt you lost your soul in the midst of a "successful" Christian lifestyle, "Love from Papa" is for you! It's a practical guide via stories, poems, dreams and visions all in the context of Susan's real life story and the Bible. You can register to receive the newsletter, "Love from Papa" by entering your name and email below.
Copyright 2012, Susan McKenzie, http://TeamFamilyOnline.com. Permission is granted to copy, forward, or distribute this article for non-commercial use only, as long as this copyright byline and bio, in totality, is maintained in all duplications, copies, and link references. For reprint permission for any commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan McKenzie.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Abraham Lincoln came to mind when I read this article. He said I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
Awesome article/dream Susan of telling us how people cross over and what we need to so here on earth; it's a school like you say. Older people have this sense of what lie is all about; we can learn so much from them!
Susan, this article particularly touched me because I have spent hours in the nursing home with my mom-n-law over the past 4 years. I am so guilty of not always taking the time to pray with her at each visit. I know she is a child of God and ready to join Him in heaven but yet God has chosen to keep her here on earth. All the care givers and nurses just love her and think she is so sweet so maybe that is her purpose right now or is her purpose really to teach me to be more aware of how I can minister to her? You are making me think….