Do Abusers Go to Heaven?

Do Abusers Go to Heaven?
By: Susan Deborah Schiller
In the series, "Letters from Readers"

I am paraphrasing a reader who asks: After we die, will we be reunited with our abusers? In my case, the abusers are my parents… Does this mean I'll have to suffer the abuse for an eternity and there's no end to it?? 

Hi my friend,

You have been living in hell for a lifetime already. Oh my friend, this is not forever! To be eternally tormented, oh no, that is not the Heart of Love! It's not the heart of a True Father for His beloved child.

You are His beloved child!

My faith has been shaken, due to being victimized, but at the same time it’s growing in Love and Truth. I don’t have all the answers, but what has been coming together for me, is a growing, reckless Trust in my Creator. I trust He is Love and Truth, Just and Righteous.

I believe our eyes will be opened, once all this world is stripped away from us. Who we are on the inside will be what we look like on the outside. In the Bible, there are many verses about being “blind, naked, and poor” even though outwardly a person is marked by success, popularity, and adulation.

Some of us have been exiled, shunned, and kicked out of churches. It’s like we were thrust into “outer darkness” – and we felt like outsiders looking in. We missed our friends, we missed the fellowship, and we wondered if God had forsaken us, too.

When all is stripped away, who am I? It’s a question we ask in the outer darkness. Jesus speaks of such a place of “outer darkness” in Matthew 7. It’s a place where false believers – the ones who were preaching, teaching, and casting out demons, building their ministries and getting paid to play the game – were ejected. I believe it’s a place of mercy and grace. To a wicked person, mercy and grace is torment!

Some of us call the “outer darkness” a wilderness. I have lived there, spiritually and literally.

Once you find your footing, it’s a beautiful and wonderful place. A place of mercy and grace. You get to meet yourself – that self that plays the game of life – and you see yourself as you really are, with all the worldly baggage. You get stripped of it. It comes off easily in that place of solitude and silence – that place of exile.

I believe it’s a process that goes on past our time on earth. We will always be learning and growing, for that is the essence of life. Some of what I learned is recorded in the following stories:

God is with us in that dark hour. 

What Does God Say about the Betrayal and Injustice?

Voice of the Moonflower

FindingJoy in Suffering 

Separation from God is an Illusion

Create Your Own Jailbreak

We're not Designed to Hide in the Dark and Hope for an Escape

Shining in the Dark

Desert Training

A Voice in the Wilderness

In This Fateful Hour

To Whisper a Doxology in the Darkness

Personally, I believe our abusers will see themselves as they really are: Monsters and Beasts.

Philippians speaks of a time when EVERY knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God our Father. I think of that often, for the only power these wicked people have is the power we have allowed. I’m speaking collectively…. that it’s mainly because believers who understand that Jesus gave us ALL authority on earth to bring Heaven to earth, that we’ve missed the mark… Instead of doing what we’re supposed to do, we create factions and form cliques. Gossip and slander on our tongues are consumed with our daily bread.

We hoard our riches. We starve the poor. We ignore the cries of the wretched who stumble past our own door. Sodom and Gommorah were not destroyed for homosexuality, as many assume, but they were destroyed for not attending to the cries of the poor right outside their door.

We live in a time where good is called evil, and evil is named good. 

But once our eyes are open to our own true condition, we will run for the wilderness to hide our shame. We will have nothing to boast about! My friend, I just trust God’s heart more and more. I trust that He loves me forever, and that these enemies are simply being used to refine me, to purify my heart, and even to beautify my spirit.

Flesh-eating Christians

God's Beauty Spa: The Glory Enhancers

I trust that my abusers will go through this refining process, too, and they are really going to be surprised, once their eyes open to the Truth of what they really are: sub-humans and crawling with demons, as a wild dog might be filled with fleas.

So the desert is a place of mercy and grace.

All of God’s great ones were trained in the desert: Jesus, Paul, Moses, David, Abraham….

Jesus himself learned obedience through what he suffered.

I can, too. We all will, sooner or later.

My friend, you will not always be abused, oh no! My heart hurts that you are still under the same roof as the ones who mock and insult you.

I pray for your early release. But no, I don’t believe you will be troubled by them for all eternity!

There are circles of friendship in Heaven, and here on earth, too. I write about this at "The Bride"

It changed my life. All I know is that our God is coming help is on the way, and justice is here.

The more I hear of your story, my friend, the greater my admiration of all you have come through, and I’ve only heard just a little bit here and there. You are special. You are loved. I treasure learning from you, my friend!

I hope this is helpful. You are welcome to email anytime with questions or comments or just letting me know how you are doing!
All my love,

Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate her way out of hell to a rich and satisfying life. In her lifetime, Susan has served in duties ranging from home school mom – to pastor –  to full-time deliverance minister – and to Midwest regional prayer coordinator for a large international ministry. These days you can usually find Susan soaking in her favorite hot springs pool, reading a book (or several), blogging, baking bread, or hanging out with her family and friends. You can pre-order a free copy of Susan's upcoming book, "On the Way Home" by registering here.

Copyright 2014, Susan Schiller,  For reprint permission for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Susan Schiller August 11, 2014 at 4:25 pm

Elora Ramirez wrote an email to her list today, and a little part of it reads: 

We all know the heavy tension of balancing reality within our own writing. Especially if you're tackling a memoir, how do you tackle the stories of others? 


And if we write fiction, how can we tell the truth but tell it slant? There's always an intersection, you know.


What I think makes this passage so profound is that L'Engle is moving the focus from the idol to her. Meaning, in all of these stories—especially the ones she divulges as invention—she doesn't talk about what so and so did with such clarity that we hone in on their sin or their actions. We're more focused on how she reacts to the story. 


So I can talk about a broken friendship, but really I'm talking about how I built this person up in my head and in my heart and when expectations weren't met those pedestals came crashing down and I was left with a whole lot of realizations about humanity. 


 Writing "slanted" has been a challenge for me, but a good one to practice on, because we don't want to tell someone else's story for them… unless they ask us to.


laura August 9, 2014 at 11:27 am

I am honored to be considered your friend.Such a beautiful response to my question! Indeed, i can find my answer from the very title of your post.Abusers don't go to heaven.I believe in god,but sometimes my heart is tempted by doubt.It's my human nature.And when that happens,god sends people like you to lift me up! Just like you,my faith has been shaken too many times:when my schizophrenic friend was raped (as if her disease was not enough),when i lost my job due to my parents, and many other trials.

My most vulnerable spot is the fact that i can't leave,away from my abusers.Someone once told me that wherever else would be much better than living under the same roof with my abusers.But i contradict.NO,there are worse places than in their home.I won't expose myself to being homeless,hungry,sleeping in the park,raped.I say NO to such life.It's not for me.Nobody told me:"I'll help you leave.I'll give you money.We'll go together to the police.You can stay in my home until you find something." Nobody said that.NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However,if god decides so,he'll help me leave.Please pray for my escape to freedom.Maybe god will do another miracle for me,like he always does.You are right,you heard just a little bit from my life story and trials.I'll share more with you as i feel i can trust you.Still,writing in comments is not enough for me.I need to write a book.

Susan,your friendship touched my life and reached my heart.If you sometimes see anger and even rage in my words,don't take it personally.It's just the truth finally coming to life.GOD'S TRUTH!


Susan Schiller August 9, 2014 at 12:13 pm

I like you a lot, Laura, and your style, too.

I’m saddened that no one has come to your aid, that they either don’t understand or don’t care or are somehow afraid. There is another woman, who I met via this blog and has become a good friend who is also beginning to write. Like you, she is still living with an abusive parent, and has been out of the house, but experienced horrendous abuse. She is very ill and cannot work, or even drive.

Yet God is making a way for her and a miracle is in progress. It won’t be easy for her, but I can’t help but believe that God has a way, when there seems to be no way. 

I am glad you are so far along, at a younger age, because it’s so much more difficult when you are older. I hear you about writing your book. Whatever I can do to support you, I will help as much as I can. I know how the words bubble up and cannot be stopped!

Oh Laura, I am praying for the Divine Thread of God’s Master Story Weaving to create an escape route for you! You have been refined so many times, through these trials… your faith is being refined into pure gold. I do love your heart, my friend!

Also, if you want to write more stories on my site, you are welcome to publish some of them here. Sometimes it’s good practice for writing your book 🙂


laura August 10, 2014 at 1:08 am

Oh Susan! I do feel the urge to publish another story,but this time it's not about me.I'd love to share with you how my friend was abused,to describe her undying faith in god.My story is already finished.If it's ok with you,i'll send it to you by email.No more fragments.This time it's one whole text waiting for you to publish it.If you agree,i'll send it to you today.I'm ready for your answer,my friend!


Susan Schiller August 10, 2014 at 10:36 am

I’d be glad to read your story, Laura, and talk about publishing it – will your friend be okay with you doing this?


laura August 10, 2014 at 11:28 am

Your reply shows that you are a correct woman.Indeed,my friend would not approve of me telling her story.But sometimes i think it would be fair to give her a voice and eliminate the social stigma.Now i don't know what to do;i'm in a moral dilema.If i change the story,the truth would be altered.The story would not harm her,but it would be against her will.I'm looking for a solution,but i can't find it.


Susan Schiller August 10, 2014 at 6:25 pm

You have a prophetic heart and voice, Laura, along with mercy and compassion.

If a story is burning in your heart to share, you might consider writing it in the form of fiction. If your friend is uncomfortable with that, it might be something to put on the back burner. Or put yourself as the main character of the story, and write about your own emotions, what happened to you when you walked alongside her through the aftermath, or something along that line. 

When our story lines overlap with others, we want to be very careful not to tell someone else’s story for them, but simply to tell our own. It can be very tricky and sticky… and sometimes so much that we hold off writing for years, or never write that part at all.

There is a tremendous stigma attached to mental illness, and I wish it were not so… to tell the story so that the reader can feel what someone else is feeling is transformational and life-giving. I know I’m probably not being much help here. 

I don’t know your friend or her story, but I know you have a heart of justice as well as mercy. It’s rare to find someone like you, Laura, who cares enough to be part of someone else’s story to the point where you want others to value your friend’s story, too… because it will set so many people free (that’s the goal, I’m assuming). 

I just want to bless you, Laura, in your pursuit of storytelling. I ask God for open doors for you, and that your voice does go out to the people who need to hear you. I ask God to give you wisdom, supernatural ideas, and abundant grace.

Thank you for having a heart like our Creator, who loves stories and sees the Truth that sets captives free in the power of our stories. 🙂


laura August 11, 2014 at 12:46 am

I'll send you the story by private mail,as i need to get a heavy burden off my heart (you'll see why in the story).As for publishing it,god will decide if and when it will be safe to do it,without harming my friend.


Susan Schiller August 11, 2014 at 6:34 am

Most of my writing is just for myself, Laura, and a few friends who have lovingly shared my heart. Thank you for sharing this story – I look forward to reading it, and to knowing you better 🙂

Susan Schiller August 9, 2014 at 10:50 am

"Watch as what once lay in ruins be rebuilt into a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit filled with My light and glory.

You may think all around you is dead…but that is just what you can see with your human eyes. Some things must die so I can bring new life, a new strength, a new wineskin to pour into.

I will give you new eyesight and you will experience seeing past what is in front of you and instead see and know I am in the midst of you. Fear not little ones for the Father loves you. Fear not and look to Me in your trial as a handmaiden looks to her God." –Kimberly Dimick, in The Princess Warrior's Prayer.


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