Believing for a Breakthrough

Believing for a Breakthrough

By: Carolyn Hughes

Carolyn is a guest blogger today, and one I hope you may get to know better. Her story is one of redemption, reconciliation, and renewal of faith. She speaks with compassion for the broken, hope for the despairing, and love for the wounded!

Do you ever doubt God? Wonder if he hears your prayers? Even question your faith?

It’s easy to pray and praise when life is going well, but sometimes you can feel as if every day is a challenge and that finding the joy in your life is becoming harder. Whether you are trapped in the past, fighting a downward spiral with each day or are fearful of the future, you need a breakthrough.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12 (NIV)

"I'm 98% certain that Carolyn will be dead within a week but there's a slight chance that she won't kill herself because she seems to have a bit of faith."

Those were the words of a psychiatrist as he discussed the probabilities for my future. He was absolutely right. Having been admitted to a secure psychiatric hospital following an alcohol-fuelled suicide attempt there was no doubt that I was in extreme danger of attempting to harm myself again.

After battling chronic depression since childhood and spending years self-medicating with alcohol I had hit rock-bottom. The impact of being abandoned by my mother as an infant together with being abused by my father had become too much to bear. And in an attempt to numb the pain I had turned to vodka as my healer, with disastrous consequences. Addiction took over and destroyed everything I had in my life and was on the verge of destroying me.

I was so alone with everything that I had gone through and so desperately frightened of what I had become. I felt unloved and unlovable, hopeless and weary. Life had become meaningless and each day dragged me further into the abyss of worthlessness.

 “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”              Matthew 17:20

Yet the real tragedy was that I believed that God had given up on me. As a relatively new Christian I couldn’t understand why I had endured such traumas and that if God loved me why he hadn’t cured me or given me a better life. The truth was that the enemy had stolen so much of my life that I had been left doubting the goodness of God. But as the psychiatrist had stated, I still had ‘a bit’ of faith.  And that’s truly all it was. A speck of faith.

So when I cried out to God, I hardly expected Him to hear let alone respond. But He did. He took my speck of faith and started to move in my life. He broke down the mountains of devastation that had been created by my abandoning mother and my abusing father. And in doing so He helped me to overcome the self-loathing and shame that had dominated my existence.

I realised that if God could do all this with my tiny bit of faith, how much more could He do if I allowed my faith to grow?

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

The more I began to trust in God, the more hope I had that I could overcome my past, find meaning for the present and look forward to a brighter future. As my faith increased so did God’s mercy and grace.  Not only did He breakthrough those bondages of my past, but He healed my brokenness. Not only did He allow me to find my strength through my weaknesses, but He took away my fears.

God had given me a breakthrough. A life-changing breakthrough. And He did it all through love.

With the knowledge that God loved me unconditionally, came the assurance that He accepted me for who I was, who I am and who I will become. With God’s love I learnt to love others, but most importantly I learnt to love myself. He broke through the pain, grief, guilt and hate. And replaced it with hope, joy, trust and love.

 ^“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phillippians 4:13

Today I enjoy a life of sobriety and peace of mind. Blessed with a wonderful husband and two amazing daughters, I am living a spirit-filled life of hope and faith.  Of course life brings it’s challenges, but with God’s help I know I can overcome all that comes my way.

So if you are in need of a breakthrough, be encouraged. He will take you out of the darkness and bring you into the light. He is will heal you and strengthen you. He will love you and never let you go.

And He will give you your breakthrough. Just believe.

This article is published with gracious permission from the author, Carolyn Hughes, from The Hurt Healer website.

For 20 years I called alcohol ‘The Hurt Healer’ It numbed me from being abandoned as a child by my mother and abused by my father. It gave me confidence to deal with the present and took away my fear of my future.  But it also kept me trapped in depression and hopelessness.

It is nothing short of a miracle that I am alive today but I was given the opportunity to heal and I grabbed it. By reclaiming my life I have found  the freedom to live life in sobriety and to recover from chronic depression.

Today it is faith, forgiveness, serenity and joy that make up ‘The Hurt Healer’… Join me on an inspirational journey to live life as the person you were meant to be. If you would like to connect further please follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheHurtHealer and on Twitter – @bluetufty

 

Tagged as: Choosing Love Today, Getting Your Life Back, Life Story Writing, Writing a Life Story